Why Does She Make Me Feel Like This?

Not only am I not normal, I'm also not very self-aware.  I don't always know why I feel the way I feel.  Perhaps this blog is a tool to help me with my self-analysis. Why do I find my wife so irresistible? I've asked myself this often and have found that the easiest way to think about it is that I just do.  In every sense I do. I melt in her eyes.  She literally and often takes my breath away.

I can be certain that my physical attraction for her is not the only cause for my obsession.  This is because she is even more beautiful to me than to other people.  If I look at her objectively and try to forget who she is, I'd say she's a 7*.  But because I love her, I see nothing but 10, not the other way around. The 3-point rating inflation comes from my biased perception of the intangible.  It's what you can't see that makes her physical appearance striking enough to consistently raise my pulse.  It's her creativity that makes her movements so graceful, her intelligence that makes her light eyes change color to match what she's wearing, and her determination that keeps her curls so feminine. None of this is visible to the stranger on the train.  He simply sees a very pretty woman. But it screams at me because I know just how fantastic she is.

Most importantly I love her not because of some distant memory of what it was like when we were first married, but because of whom she has become.  She has continuously self-improved.  She has taught me to be supportive of her education and profession and has grown to be the woman she always knew she could be - a woman far more attractive than the one I married twenty-four years ago.

I had no idea whom I was marrying at the time.  That's why people are nervous before they marry.  That's why half of marriages end in divorce.  If you think any newlywed knows better, you're a fool.  Had I known whom I was marrying, I would not have been nervous - only impatient.

*I'm a 5.