When our kids were toddlers, my wife and I had a very traditional marriage. I had a full-time job, and my wife took care of the house and kids. Admittedly, societal expectations had some influence on our organizational structure, but it also seemed like the most efficient use of resources. I could earn a pretty good living as a hot-shot scientist but needed an hour to cook Minute Rice®. Conversely, my wife could put Martha Stewart's domestic skills to shame, but didn't quite have her earning potential.
Once our youngest started preschool and my wife started a Master's degree, I quickly saw that we needed to change who did what. There was no way for her to keep taking care of the kids and all of the cooking and cleaning while studying for school. There were two easy things I could do immediately to enable her education.
First, I could take over the laundry. I had no excuse for not doing the laundry. Certainly I was capable of doing my own before enslaving my wife. I do not remember announcing my laundry coup. It did not require authorization. Before the Nike campaign started, I just did it, and my wife never complained. In fact she claimed there was something slightly stimulating about my stacking her underwear in her drawer. OK! I could see this was having the desired effect. And she had more time to hit the books.
Second, the weekend and evenings became my time to keep the kids away from mommy so she could get her school work done. This was a natural job for me. I'm still a little bit of a kid, so it wasn't hard to think of things to do. Bike rides, Chuck E Cheese, ski trips, and Indian Guides kept all of us happy. I got pleasure from driving away from our house with the kids in the car and seeing my wife fist pump in my rear view mirror.
My wife tells me that most women melt at men who are good with their kids. Empirically, I don't think my taking the kids for the weekend elicited this type of reaction from my wife in any way I could notice. As marriage roles have evolved, housebound husbands or wives have come to expect concentrated weekend support from their non-housebound spouse. In my case, I suspect that not providing this much-needed support would have evoked resentment. However, I suspect my wife's comment does apply to the single mother considering the father-worthiness of a potential suitor. So pay attention all you guys trying to win the affections of a single mother. My wife is usually right about these things.
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