Vacation

Part of getting to be the husband my wife wants me to be means changing how I act on vacation.  Turns out that there are big differences in our entire approach for vacation.  She's a beach gal and I'm more of a ski guy.  What's more, I'm a little Type A, so I have some difficulty getting to relax even on vacation. Driving in a strange place makes me cranky.  In fact we've had some of our worst fights when we've gotten lost on vacation. And for some reason I haven't figured out yet we always seem to have at least one bad fight per vacation whether I drive or not.

I haven't posted in nearly a week because we've just been on one such vacation in Montreal.  The vacation was wonderful, but we had one day that went really badly in the morning and then again in the evening.  The arguments started the instant my wife sensed a "huffiness" to my tone.  Once she picks that up, it's all over.  So the key for me to avoiding these arguments is to avoid that tone.  The problem is that sometimes I'm totally unable to control my tone. This has been a part of me that she's had to live with, and I'm trying to see if I can change. 99% of the time I'm just fine, but it's that 1% that really spoils it for her.

I have made some progress at learning to relax when on vacation.  I really HAD to do that because she threatened that she would not go on vacation with me any more if I couldn't relax.  I just couldn't bare not going on vacation with her.  Here's some things that may have helped:

1. I think the invention of the GPS saved our marriage.  No more arguments over getting lost!
2. I think I need to avoid driving in a strange city if possible.  It's too hard to find good parking spots while thinking about how much I love my wife.  I just don't have that much concentration.
3. We shouldn't be afraid to split up once and a while while on vacation.  Most of the time we're together, but there may be strenuous activities that I would like to participate while she does something else.  This could also mean an occasional separate vacation although I would hope that the separate time would amount to only a small portion of our total vacation time.

Becoming a better vacation partner is very much a work in progress for me.  I am better, but I have some work to do here.  This is one of the hardest things for me to change because it involves changing who I am as much as what I do.